The terrible puns continue- please indulge me for now...
In my four-ish years of blogging I have written about shoes, poetry, planting a vegetable garden, eczema, bees, sleep, being a single parent and all manner of other subjects, and why not? My life has always been reflected in my writing so my interests and experiences collide to a greater of lesser extent.
Writing has been my major focus, apart from Sam, since starting at university. I have always written and used this as a way of sorting through feelings, thoughts and dilemmas. So I shall carry this on and write about what is happening in my life now and what will happen following my diagnosis.
I managed to get in the car with Sam on Friday and drive down to Bristol to stay with friends, as had been planned for ages. It was either that and stay at home on my own with Sam again for another weekend, and we both needed a break, some fun, and I need some support at the moment.
And we have got what we needed this weekend. My old friends from Bristol, where I lived years ago, have been wonderful. Taking Sam out to see the SS Great Britain yesterday which he LOVED, and today to help friends pick out a dog and then to a pub for a lunch.
This has given me a chance to rest, think and just 'be' and have some space.
I am up and down, one minute emotional and full of fear and blaming myself. The next minute thinking positively and pragmatically.
I expect this seesaw-ing of feelings and moods to continue for a little while and, as I am only human, I am going to let those feelings out as they come, and then let them go and get back to looking forward.
There are lifestyle changes to be made and priorities to be considered.
This is an opportunity to make positive changes. As my good friend Kat says," You are the captain of your ship" and I think I know whiich way I am going to steer it.
But for now I am in dry dock, getting repairs, and looking at maps.
Love, Love, Love